BOOK AND RELEASE

Well, as much as I hated to do it, I did finally call the Portland Police, and the officer who responded at dispatch was very nice. He could not tell me much, but did tell me that the police had made contact with Alan on the 8th of July at a park in the Pearl District, apparently for being drunk in public. He was taken in, a mug shot was taken, his info updated, and then he was released. He was not actually booked. This puts him basically okay as of a week ago but it still does not answer why he has not returned home. The officer suggested that he may have opted to go into a program to sober up. Perhaps he was hanging out downtown for easier access to alcohol and/or drugs, or perhaps I might check the mission again.

I hate the fact that Alan has these problems, and worry that he may throw this opportunity away that he has been given. There are many people vested in keeping him off the streets, yet he continually gravitates toward that lifestyle. I wish he realized that his family does care for him, and all we all want to see is him to begin caring for himself. Maybe that is too much to hope for. Maybe he is a lost cause. But whichever the case may be, it looks like I am going to have to go hang out in the Pearl in the hopes that I may run into him. Poop. Portland is a big town. The odds of simply running into him are against me. Maybe he will surface soon, and go back home.
Damn him anyway. Oh well, at least he is alive... or was a week ago. I can only assume he still is.

I quit.

I started smoking nearly 25 years ago, in part thinking it would make me look older. We have all seen the ads showing a persons face deteriorating with the use of tobacco. The ad had a woman talking about how she started smoking to look older, and with the final image showing a woman looking like a graying shriveled up old fig, she laments that she got her wish. I have looked, but been unable to find an image online. There are plenty of others though, but I really haven't the time for it today. Besides, it is a moot point.

I have sworn off cigarettes numerous times, threatened to quit when they hit $2 a pack, watched my mom, aunt, and brother die of smoking related illness, my own father dying at 43 years old of a massive heart attack. I myself have had several heart attacks, and triple bypass surgery, yet still I smoked. I have control issues, and hate feeling out of control. I can not afford my medications, so how can I justify spending money on cigarettes? Enough is enough. Time for me to take back control of my life. Time for me to take back my life before it is too late. I quit.