The Truth Hurts; A tale of one man's journey to find the truth in his own life.

She Meant Every Word I said

I ran across an old piece of scratch paper with these words on it, and I cannot remember why in the heck I wrote this phrase down, but it must have been important at the time. It sounds very much like the title of a country song, and for some reason I like the way it sounds. It does at least make an interesting lead up to something I want to talk about anyway.

It makes me think about many years ago, in a time so far away that it barely seems like a reality. So much water underneath the bridge in the years that followed. Can it even be said that I am the same person I was then? What about her? I could go on about so many things, but really all I was thinking about were the vows I composed. So long ago..... what ever happened to those two people we once were? I miss them.

I had planned on putting up a webpage of sorts for the Mrs to be able to keep posted on the goings on in my life. This forum seems as good a place as any. I doubt if she will ever read it, let alone subscribe to yahoo. Who knows? I cannot say I know her anymore. She likely feels the same as I do. She probably wonders if she knows me. Niether one of us is the same person we were back then. I also need to get out of the habit of referring to her as the Mrs. We have not been together in over a year, and the papers were signed long ago. She moved away, and I am still here. Still... there is a part of me that still feels close to her. I suspect that may never change. Moving on is difficult, letting go is even more so.

Too bad in addition to the loving promises for a future together, over the years many angry and hateful words crossed my lips. Too bad that words cut far deeper than you would expect. I, of all people, should know this the best. Nevertheless, I will always be thankful for the time we had together, and for the few good times we shared. I blew it. I know that. Blame it on being pigheaded and stubborn. But, on the positive side, I learned a lot, and even though the cost was painful, and great, I would not even trade a moment of my time with her. Sucks I guess, we were soulmates. Too bad we screwed it up by getting married.