Of Minimal Importance; 3rd entry for August 18, 2005

Okay, for a do nothing sort of day, it would appear that I have been busy. I managed to locate my old blogs online and have put them in here before I got too many entries into this new one. No biggie. I actually liked the way I used to write, but things went sadly awry a long time back. Anyway, I had no reason not to bring the whole mess into one place. Why not? People might actually read these and realize I am basically a tweekazoid after all. LOL I do not know precisely what a tweekazoid is, but I am sure it is not a good thing.

Sugar High: 2nd entry for August 18, 2005 11:30am

Gee.... that was fun. It is just a part of this whole mess I have decided I need and want to be in control of. My blood sugar when I checked it was 410. For anyone who is not in the know about diabetes, that is not a good number. Diabetes has significantly impacted my life, and the life of my family. With at least 3 other diabetic members of my immediate family it has had a very profound impact. Especially when two of those other three are now deceased, and were both amputees before they died. Anyway... I took my morning meds, injected 60 units of insulin, and took a little nappy poo. When I woke, sugars were 115. A much more reasonable score. Now the trick is keeping them there.

As I mentioned prior, my life is pretty much completely out of control. and I have decided I want to take control of those areas I can. Okay. So... a quick rundown of the stupidity factor. All of my issues are pretty much in the realm of my control. To a degree anyway. For example, my health. I am the only one that has control over that, and that is what this blog is about. (Partly anyway) I know I need to lose weight, do anything I can to strengthen my heart. watch my diet, control my blood sugars, exercise, and for goodness sake, lose the cigarettes! These things I have control over. Since the heart surgery I have managed to find excuse after excuse to pick up a cigarette. What am I thinking, really? I mean, they nearly killed me, and here I go and smoke anyway. Not to mention the stinking price.... the cost is too great. So... ixnay on the okingsmay. I did it before, I can do it again. I simply need to quit looking for excuses to continue, and find even one reason not to.... like maybe, I dont want to die? Good enough. Smoking is easy. What is hard is the diabetes. That involves more than just not doing something. That is a whole lifestyle change.

Ugh... I hate change.

Punch Drunk

What possible excuse could I have for the title of this Blog, and for posting that horrible early picture of yours truly? I plead insanity. Insanity is a great defense... it is much better if you actually are insane. As best I can figure, crazy people have the luxury of simply not giving a shit. Why should they? In their little world, the weather is fine. In my world, it rains a lot. Of course, I do live in Washington, so I should be used to it. People here do not tan, they rust. When people come here on vacation and ask me what we do here during the summer, I usually say "If it lands on a weekend, we usually go on a picnic."

Punch drunk is a term used in boxing, refers to a condition in which the boxer, having taken a few too many shots to the head, has problems with his equillibrium. Maybe I have been hit with one too many birthdays. I dunno. It was the first phrase that popped into my head.... SO DEAL WITH IT! OKAY? That's it... no soup for you.

One thing I noticed, My mailbox remained empty yesterday. If anyone remembered my birthday, they forgot to send a card. I really was not expecting any. In the past, all I ever received was two or three anyway. Apparantly the people that normally remember simply forgot. The only person I really wanted to hear from of course did not call, did not write, and of course, that hurts. Still, I kind of expected it. But, I have no control over what they do, and I just gotta accept that. I do have control over how I choose to respond to my hurt feelings, and I choose not to let it get me down. It only hurts if I take it personally, and I choose to love her anyway. I am better than this, so, I will love her, and continue being her friend. She may be able to control everything else, but she cannot control my heart. So... should she ever read this, which I doubt..... she can take this as a great big "Neener, neener, neener!!" So much for acting my age, huh?

Diabetes running out of control, I am thirsty as heck, so am going to let this rest for awhile and go grab a drink from the trough. I think I can add to this entry later, so I will. After I take my meds and check my sugars.