Portable Blog
I was wakened at 1:30am to the shrill chirping of my phone, and while I am okay with my ex calling, I had just gotten down to the serious business of sawing logs. So I was a little foggy at first.
But I am getting a lot less irritable these days. Not that it will make any difference, but at least I notice that I have been changing in subtle ways; The least of which is a more gracious and flexible nature.
I am not real clear on every aspect of my transformation these past few months, but I seem to be a lot less tense than I was before.
My ex would attribute that to the whole separation thing, but it is more than that. I have consciously decided to do things differently, not because I would hope she would reconsider the relationship with me, though that is something I would like to see, but because in any relationship I will ever have in the future hinges on me treating people better than I have in the past. I need to change for me, not for anyone else, because my life as it was is no longer acceptable. I can no longer afford the stress and the anger in my life. My heart can no longer take it. So,for every one involved, but especially for me and my health, I have to learn new, and more appropriate ways of handling and responding to stress. Simple as that.
Today is Saturday, and with nothing on the calender, I am taking it easy, just kicking back on my bed, typing this on my PDA. My first blog entry written on it. Maybe, I may even take a nap. Naps are always a good thing. LOL
