Tuesday, November 13, 2007

APPLES & ORANGES



Observation 1
Apples and Oranges


I think that this entry will be the first of a five part series dedicated to a verbose rambling on the subject of something I know very little about. Women. Oh yeah, this should be fun. Not that I will reveal anything particularly profound, earth shaking, or even relevant. It is a good thing that I am not married right now, as anything I say could and would be held against me. This is why I like to sprinkle my conversations with words and phrases like 'breasts', 'nipples', 'ass', and "fish taco', in the hope that these things actually will be held against me. But, it is counterproductive in that the more I use these words and phrases in casual conversation, the less likely it is that I will ever see them again. That may be part of how the phrase "Life's a Bitch, and then you marry one" came about. Wait... don't rush in to Safeway to stock up on eggs and produce to throw at me yet. (I might like that, and you know Safeway will love the business!)

In truth, I am typing this now when I should in fact be working on my homework. Anything to avoid my responsibilities. But my homework is not a part of the curricula of an institution of higher learning. There are no grades, the deadlines are somewhat flexible, and you will find no female coeds (flexible or otherwise... DAMN!!) at my weekly class. But, due to circumstances, I am obliged to attend these classes, there are certain assignments I have to complete before I can "graduate", and I am actually learning quite a bit in spite of myself. It really is too bad about the lack of flexible female coeds though! It is probably for the best I suppose since what brought myself and the other men together in the first place was our relationships with women. Why is it that something with the promise of so much fun turns out to be such a pain in the butt? I mean, here we are, everything is going along, status quo, we have our jobs, our buddies, and Monday Night Football and things are good. We are the masters of our own lives, until one day something new crosses our field of vision, and we willingly run away from everything we know to get a closer look. We barely glance back at our buddies who in our absence are still quaffing mass quantities of our beer while watching our big screen tv, and who barely notice we are gone until the beer runs out or the game is over (whichever comes first). Nope... our buddies may drink and eat us out of house and home, and burn a hole in our sofa while trying to light a fart, but they will still be our buddies later, so we run after this new thing forgetting all about our buddies for awhile.

Then we catch up to the target of our distraction, only to find out that not only do they look good, much softer than our buddies... well, maybe with the exception of Frank... and they smell so good..... intoxicating even.... that all reason (the little we had in the first place) leaves us. We haphazardly throw all caution to the wind and begin to behave even more stupidly than we do normally.

Around our buddies, we are free to be our normal disgusting selves. We scratch, we belch, we scratch again. We laugh at farts, doggoneit! They are funny after all. They are fun. According to George Carlin, they are "Shit without the mess". We lie about our conquests with great abandon since our buddies all know that we are full of shit anyway, it really does not matter. They will never think any less of us if we lie about sex. After all, they do it too! But the problem with lying about sex to our buddies is that sooner or later, we have to at least make an effort to hang with someone with a higher voice than ours. Someone besides Frank that is. It does not matter how cute he looks in polyester, he is after all a buddy, and we overlook such things, right? Okay, maybe not. But if not for Frank, we’d have no one to duct tape to the fridge door in the garage. Don’t worry… he likes it. Besides, as the only one of us who is married and therefore the only one of us who actually gets stank on the hang low with any regularity, he deserves the abuse. Fucking Frank!

As I am writing this, it occurs to me that I may be just a little over the top. I think that a couple things might happen. One, this is intended to be funny, but may possibly offend one or two people with higher voices than mine. (Frank not withstanding) To them, because I am basking in the relative safety of the internet, I say “get over it!” I kinda want the reaction. In person, I am fairly outspoken, but incredibly shy about certain things. I have a problem with keeping my mouth shut, and spend a lot of time dining on “filet o Birk”. But it occurred to me today, why not write? Put it out there online, maybe amuse a few people, and channel my humor to the internet where it may get me in less trouble at home. Besides, maybe if I do catch the attention of the public, find myself an audience, maybe I can share some of the more serious stuff too. I would like to think that there is more to me than meets the eye, and that I have a lot of stuff to offer people. Two, my biggest concern, I may find myself in trouble with people I do not know. My family and friends are more or less accustomed to the weird, off the wall shit that comes out of my mouth on a daily basis. Hopefully more people are entertained than not. Remember, the comments are available to everyone, and I have posted my email, so there really is no excuse why you cannot share your thoughts as well. Looking forward to hearing from each of you.

Monday, November 12, 2007

NIGHTMARES & NOCTURNAL QUICKSTARTS



Fuck. Yep that's the word I am looking for. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I am aware how crass and stupid that sounds, but considering I am once again awake in the middle of the night, wanting to be asleep, but stuck with my eyes open, there is no better word or phrase to describe how I feel.

I am tired. Dead dog tired. I am running low on both energy and frustration. For some time now, my sleep patterns have been interrupted to say the least. Every 2 hours, like clockwork I shoot awake, sometimes as a result of my arrhythmia, but usually for no reason. The last couple days, I have been having bad dreams to boot. So here I am. Already frustrated about not getting any sleep, and I am irritated too because .... I suppose it does not really matter.

I want out. I want out of my lease, out of my apartment, out of my dreams, and out of my life. Sounds worse than it is, but sometimes each of those statements are true. For the past twenty minutes, my sister has been lurking behind me watching every word I type. Now, I doubt if she can read then from where she is standing, but then again, who knows? I no sooner typed that than she announced that she was going back to bed because she "must be bothering me".

I know she means well, but the circumstances that brought me here essentially left me no other choices. This was the best choice at the time. Now, I wonder, Was it Really? The fact of the matter is, she was bothering me. I hate it when she lurks. I have no privacy here, and I am certain she has issues with me as well. Nevertheless, every time I wake up, she is up a few minutes later. (I suppose my typing wakes her) She lurks into my room, and justs stands there for minutes on end staring at the back of my head. I hate that. She gets pissed at me if I do not call to check in when I am out. I am 41 years old, and feel like she is treating me like I am a three year old kid. She is not my mother, and she is not my wife, and I do not appreciate feeling like I should feel guilty for somehow not involving her in everything I do. It is not as though I have an exciting life, but it is mine, and I should be entitled to some privacy in the things I do.

It is not that I have anything to hide either, to the contrary, I am pretty fucking open about nearly every aspect of my life.

My Health: Not so good really. I am 41, and have been suffering with arrhythmia every day for the past 3 years. I have had triple bypass surgery, and let's face it, on the one hand the surgeons and physicians saved my life. However, on the other hand, I should have been able to expect that my chest should not be popping all over the place and causing me pain by now. I should have been able to expect some improvement in the way my heart behaves and feels. I am a brittle diabetic, and need help to keep my sugars under control. I have obstructive sleep apnea, and am on CPAP therapy. Some days, the neuropathy is so bad, I can barely walk. I use a cane, as much for balance as anything, and wounds barely heal. On the whole, my health leaves a lot to be desired.

My personal growth: A lot of shit has happened. The least of which was losing my home and its contents to a woman I was a paid care provider for in my own home. The legal ramifications, the financial responsibility, and all the crap I was ordered to do by the court system. aside from being biased and wrong, have provided me with opportunities for growth as a person. I hate that it came at such great personal cost, but I am thankful that I have grown as a person, and like the man I am now. I talk of this readily to those who would listen.

My spiritual development: I am simply thankful for all of my blessings across the board, and believe wholly in a God who loves me. There was a time when I was sort of a "closet Christian". I believed, but you could not tell by looking. I gave little or no indication to others of my beliefs. It was personal to me, and I was pretty self centered, self conscious, and hated doing anything that brought attention to me.

My Relationships: Well, obviously, I need to work on the relationship with my sister. At least so far as to set up some personal boundaries. I guess I need to address issues of assertiveness. I need to be more assertive with the people around me, less concerned about not hurting peoples feelings, at least to the degree where my own feelings get overlooked. Most of the relationships surrounding my family need at least some work. We are not exactly a closely knit family.
My marriage ended back in July, and I have spoken to my ex wife once since the divorce was final. We have not been together in over three years, but I still care very deeply for her, and miss her terribly. I suppose this is normal. But at the same time, I have met someone who I very much enjoy spending time with. She seems to accept me how I am, and appreciates the effort I am making to change much of the crap that got in the way of my having healthy relationships in the past.

I do not know precisely which direction this friendship is going, but there does seem to be potential for a whole lot more. That is not to say that there will not be problems. I already see that communication will be an area that requires constant attention. I have a big mouth, a truly twisted sense of humor, and often speak without thinking. Oh yeah... I know... my brother Joe used to give me crap about my CPAP, especially after the doctor ordered me a chinstrap to keep my mouth shut while on the machine. It seems I probably could use it in other areas of my life, especially since the latch that is supposed to keep my mouth shut does not seem to work, or may be missing. (It's a joke... the latch is figurative) I have a thought, and out it spills. May need to work on my judgement too, since I spend a fair amount of time apologizing for hurting people's feelings with the at times incredibly off the wall things I say.

I could write several paragraphs about this wonderful woman who is responsible for bringing so many smiles to my life lately, but think for now, I should exercise some discretion. After all, the relationship at this time is complicated. Anything I say about it now could be premature. She does consider me her boyfriend, but I am not ready to place a title on the relationship yet. Like I said, there are some complications. Nevertheless, short of saying "I Love You", I am developing strong feelings for her, and she most definitely matters to me. I just can't write about it in great detail yet, for her sake mostly. Loose ends and all to tidy up. But as we progress from "just friends" to "something more", I will be writing in here. For the time being, I intend on spending as much time as I can getting to know this woman, being there for her as a friend, supporting her as best I can as she takes care of the things she has to. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, and this is no exception. If I do intend on this relationship developing into a mature, nurturing, God-centered relationship, I know there are many things I need to do. I owe it to God, to her, to her son, and to myself.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

ALIVE & WELL and LIVING IN THE PAST


Mood: Pensive

The title of this entry pretty much says it all. I am not here today. There are a lot of places I could be right now, but here is not one of them. This is made much more difficult by the fact that under the current governing laws of physics, no matter where my mind and heart are, my body is still stuck here typing. Even then there are things much more important that it should be taking care of right now. Shit.

Anyway, November is a month that for many represents the beginning of the holiday season, what with Thanksgiving and all. It is a time for families to gather together around the table in remembrance and thanksgiving, an opportunity to reflect on the many blessings we receive from God and family. Now, for me, I have not spent as much time around family as I perhaps should have, and for many reasons, I have never been emotionally available to my family and friends. It is a sad statement of the man I used to be, and an even sadder statement of the condition of my family unit. Look up dysfunctional in the dictionary, and you might find a portrait of my family.

November is a time of the year I adore, with the changing of the seasons, the bright colored fall foliage, the acrid smell of woodsmoke hanging in the crisp autumn air, and the sights and sounds of the quickly approaching promise of Christmas. I do love this time of the year, but would love it a lot more were I able to spend it with family. I sometimes long for the Norman Rockwell holidays, but generally when the opportunity did arise, I found yet another reason to spend the holidays alone, and in so doing bask in the depression that strikes me with regularity this time of the year without fail.

November marks several important dates this year.

  • My 12th anniversary would have been on the 7th, had I not been divorced in July.
  • My niece is celebrating her 21st birthday on the 19th.
  • My brother Joe, would have celebrated his 64th birthday on the 18th.
So that's basically what's on my mind today. I am missing my brother, lamenting my failed marriage, regretting shoving my family away, and wishing I were better able to be there now for my family and friends.

This holiday season will not look any more like a Rockwell painting than any year previous, but I do hope to be able to spend it with family, and remember to be thankful that I have so much more than so many people do. As I pause to reflect on the things I am thankful for this year, maybe I should make it a point to let those I am thankful for know how I feel.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

EMPTY WORDS

I have not been blogging as well as I might like, nor have I been journaling in my journals as frequently as I perhaps should. As a result, life passes byunnoticed. Not that I live a particularly exciting or noteworthy life but I feel that I should document at least some of it. Then again, who would read it? Ah well.... this blog is essentially intended for my family and friends and sinceI talk to neither as often as I should it is perhaps the only way they will know what is going on with me in my life. There it is. In a nutshell, my mission
statement as it were. (*sigh)

What is on my mind this morning is a conversation I had last night. I had gone to church,

and even though I have been running on empty, physically, spiritually, financially and emotionally, I did muster up enough energy to pay attention to the sermon. (barely) The pastor talked about Ecclesiology; The branch of theology that is concerned with the nature, constitution, and functions of a church. Yeah, yeah... I know..... (SNORE) But let me cut to the chase. Fast forward, snip for brevity, and mention the one thing that stands out most in my mind as it is, verbatim, something I have been saying for years; "Love is a Choice."

I have been also saying that I do not believe that people "fall" in love. I believe that the initial attraction, or lust, is just that.... purely physical, purely selfish, purley sexual. But, after that, you have a choice, and should you choose to love, then you can work towards growing into love. It takes a conscious effort, a committed decision, and a lot of work, especially if you are trying to do love by the numbers... as God intended. Numbers? Oh yeah.... numbers.... sorry.


Number 1. (Mt 22:37-40)Love the Lord your God with all your heart

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.

Number 2 Ephesians 5:25-27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her; 26 that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she should be holy and blameless.

Number 3. 8"'Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.

By the numbers, we are instructed to love God our spouses, and our neighbors. Basically in that order.

So.... how are we to Love God with all that we are, love our spouses as Christ loved the Church, and love our neighbors as ourselves? Seems to me like it is a tall order... especially if you knew my neighbors! LOL But, I digress, there is only one way. We have to choose to love, and put it all into God's Hands. Nothing worthwhile is easy, and generally, you have to make sacrifices. That's life.

Anyway... as I was saying, I had a conversation last night following the service, and all of this was rummaging around in the back of my mind. In any case, the jist of this conversation with someone I am growing to care about was this:

In typical fashion, women tend to be more ready emotionally than men when it comes to love and relationships. Men, on the other hand, tend to be less willing to open themselves up to the possibility. This is because of the primary difference between men and women being , essentially, apples and oranges. Men are physical, while women are emotional. So, it is not uncommon for a woman to say "I love you" first. Men may say it, but I am willing to bet that a lot of first "I Love You's" from men occur during sex. It seems like such a waste of those three very powerful words since in that instance they are merely empty words.

Now here it is; I was talking about this with someone I am growing fond of, and I see great potential for a future together whether as friends, or as something more, but have not decided that direction yet. But... I do not want to mess up either possibility. I do not want to jeopardize a wonderful friendship by moving too quickly, and I do not want to screw up the "something more" by also moving too quickly, or not moving at all. Damn quandries! So what does one do? Beats the Hell out of me.... I simply do not know.

What I do know is this:

I already fucked up several friendships, and a marriage by being selfish, inconsiderate, unthoughthtful, disinterested, dishonest, and short sighted. I am not willing to say the words if they are only empty words. I want to be able to mean it when I do say them. I want to try always to put God first, or at the very least, include Him in the realtionship. Being human, this is not easy. I want to employ everything I have learned from my past to ensure that this woman and I have a fighting chance no matter which way our relationship goes. But, all that aside, I really have to say, it feels really good spending time with her.It feels even better knowing that for the first time in my life I have been completely honest, no secrets, and have let my guard down intentionally that I might let her in. While it has been a challenge so far it has also been somewhat of a catharsis. I basically am feeling pretty good about things, and my life in general, and that, too, is a change for me. It is about time for a positive change in my life.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

PERCEPTUAL PASSAGES

I find myself recently considering the passage of time, and how very relative any given block of time can be to any given individual in any given circumstance. Specifically, I am reflecting back on my own experience, which makes for a much easier paradigm shift. I can only assume that everyone experiences the passage of time differently, even though it passes no more quickly or slowly for anyone. (OOPS.... gotta finish this later!)

Friday, October 26, 2007

SUGAR HIGH


For the past week or so, I have been struggling with maintaining my blood sugars. As a diabetic, that should be one of my biggest priorities, but I must admit that most of the time it is easy to ignore the disease. It has been called "the silent killer" because as far as diseases go, by the time that you begin to notice the symptoms, it is generally too late. You are already a full blown diabetic. As for me, my diabetes was not discovered until 2000, but I had been noticing symptoms for over a decade. I had seen several doctors during that time, and asked about the discoloration of my legs, the problems sleeping, et cetera, but it was generally dismissed. It was not until I went in demanding that I be tested because my brother made me promise to do so that a doctor took me seriously.

Diabetes comes in many forms, and for the record, it is not limited to human beings. Our cats
and dogs also can suffer from the disease. It can be hereditary, but it is not contagious. (I was actually asked that by a child once.)

The two basic forms of Diabetes are broken down into different types. I will simply cut and paste here, because I really have other things I want to write about this morning.

DIABETES INSIPIDUS: This is also called Water Diabetes

Diabetes Insipidus (DI) is a disorder in which there is an abnormal increase in urine output, fluid intake and often thirst. It causes symptoms such as urinary frequency, nocturia (frequent awakening at night to urinate) or enuresis (involuntary urination during sleep or "bedwetting"). Urine output is increased because it is not concentrated normally. Consequently, instead of being a yellow color, the urine is pale, colorless or watery in appearance and the measured concentration (osmolality or specific gravity) is low.

*Diabetes Insipidus is not the same as diabetes mellitus ("sugar" diabetes). Diabetes Insipidus resembles diabetes mellitus because the symptoms of both diseases are increased urination and thirst. However, in every other respect, including the causes and treatment of the disorders, the diseases are completely unrelated. Sometimes diabetes insipidus is referred to as "water" diabetes to distinguish it from the more common diabetes mellitus or "sugar" diabetes.

*Diabetes Insipidus is divided into four types, each of which has a different cause and must be treated differently. The most common type of DI is caused by a lack of vasopressin, a hormone that normally acts upon the kidney to reduce urine output by increasing the concentration of the urine. This type of DI is usually due to the destruction of the back or "posterior" part of the pituitary gland where vasopressin is normally produced. Hence, it is commonly called pituitary DI. It is also known as central or neurogenic DI. The posterior pituitary can be destroyed by a variety of underlying diseases including tumors, infections, head injuries, infiltrations, and various inheritable defects. The latter can be recognized by the onset of the DI in early childhood and a family history of parents, siblings or other relatives with the same disorder. Nearly half the time, however, pituitary DI is "idiopathic" (that is, no cause can be found despite a thorough search including magnetic resonance imaging or MRI of the brain) and the underlying cause(s) is (are) still unknown. Pituitary DI is usually permanent and cannot be cured but the signs and symptoms (i.e. constant thirst, drinking and urination) can be largely or completely eliminated by treatment with various drugs including a modified from of vasopressin known as desmopressin or DDAVP. Because pituitary DI is sometimes associated with abnormalities in other pituitary hormones, tests and sometimes treatments for these other abnormalities are also needed.

*Occasionally, a lack of vasopressin can also develop during pregnancy if the pituitary is slightly damaged and/or the placenta destroys the hormone too rapidly. This second type of vasopressin deficiency is called gestagenic or gestational DI and is also treatable with DDAVP but, in this case, the deficiency and the DI often disappear 4 to 6 weeks after delivery at which time the DDAVP treatment can usually be stopped. Often, however, the signs and symptoms of DI recur with subsequent pregnancies.

*The third type of DI is caused by an inability of the kidneys to respond to the "antidiuretic effect" of normal amounts of vasopressin. This type of DI is usually referred to as nephrogenic DI and can result from a variety of drugs or kidney diseases including heritable genetic defects. It cannot be treated with DDAVP and, depending on the cause, may or may not be curable by eliminating the offending drug or disease. The heritable form, for example, lasts for life and cannot be cured at present. However, there are treatments that can partially relieve the signs and symptoms of nephrogenic DI.

*The fourth form of DI occurs when vasopressin is suppressed by excessive intake of fluids. The latter is usually referred to as primary polydipsia and is most often caused by an abnormality in the part of the brain that regulates thirst. This subtype is called dipsogenic DI and is difficult to differentiate from pituitary DI particularly since the two disorders can result form many of the same brain diseases. The only sure way to tell them apart is to measure vasopressin during a stimulus such as fluid deprivation or to observe the effects of DDAVP treatment. In dipsogenic DI, DDAVP also eliminates the excessive urination but, unlike pituitary DI, it does not completely eliminate the increased thirst and fluid intake. Thus, it also results in water intoxication, a condition associated with symptoms such as headache, loss of appetite, lethargy and nausea and signs such as an abnormally large decrease in the plasma sodium concentration (hyponatremia). Because of this and the current lack of a way to correct the underlying abnormality in thirst, dipsogenic DI cannot be treated at present, although the most troubling symptoms, nocturia, can be safely relieved by taking small doses of DDAVP at bedtime. The other subtype of primary polydipsia is due not to abnormal thirst but to psychosomatic causes and is often referred to as pyschogenic polydipsia. It cannot be treated at present.

QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE

What is considered "excessive" urination? What is considered "excessive thirst?

An adult who urinates more than 50mL/kg body weight per 2 hours is generally considered to have a higher than normal output. Loosely translated, 50mL/kg is about 3.5 quarts per day for a 150-lb. adult. an adult who drinks more than 4 quarts (1 gallon) or approximately 12 glasses (144 oz) of beverages per day would have a higher than normal intake.

Does pituitary diabetes insipidus cause any problems other than increased urination, thirst and drinking? Does it shorten one's life span?

As far as we know, pituitary or nephrogenic DI does not cause any other disabilities or health risks provided there is no interference with the ability to replace the loss fluid. If water intake is impaired - for example, by loss of consciousness or by separation from an abundant supply of drinkable water - there is a very grave risk of severe dehydration that could lead to serious brain damage or even death. Treatment reduces this risk because it reduces the rate of water loss and thereby lengthens the time one can go without drinking. However, it does not eliminate the risk altogether because there is always the possibility that the medication will be lost or run out. For this reason, it is important to always carry an adequate supply of medication and be careful about getting in a situation where a good supply of drinking water is not available - for example ocean sailing or hiking in the mountains or desert.

Dipsogenic DI or pyschogenic polydipsia does not carry the risk of dehydration but may result in serious overhydration (water intoxication) if DDAVP or other drugs such as thiazide diuretics are taken or if certain acute diseases such as influenza develop. Therefore, it is important to know if these disorders are present so that the offending drugs can be avoided or the appropriate tests and countermeasures can be applied as soon as a disease or ailment like influenza develops.

If I have pituitary or nephrogenic DI and the symptoms don't bother me, why should I take treatment?

The principle reason is to reduce the risk of severe dehydration and provide greater freedom to participate in activates in which it is difficult, if not impossible to drink and urinate frequently.

Apart from taking DDAVP or other antidiuretic medication, is there anything else I should do?

Yes, you should wear a MedicAlert bracelet and/or carry a MedicAlert card in your wallet so that if you have a medical emergency even a doctor who does not know you will recognize immediately your need for special treatment.

DIABETES MELLITUS: This is also called Sugar Diabetes

Diabetes is a life-long disease marked by high levels of sugar in the blood. It can be caused by too little insulin (a hormone produced by the pancreas to regulate blood sugar), resistance to insulin, or both.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors

To understand diabetes, it is important to first understand the normal process of food metabolism. Several things happen when food is digested:

  • A sugar called glucose enters the bloodstream. Glucose is a source of fuel for the body.
  • An organ called the pancreas makes insulin. The role of insulin is to move glucose from the bloodstream into muscle, fat, and liver cells, where it can be used as fuel.

People with diabetes have high blood glucose. This is because their pancreas does not make enough insulin or their muscle, fat, and liver cells do not respond to insulin normally, or both.

There are three major types of diabetes:

  • Type 1 diabetes is usually diagnosed in childhood. The body makes little or no insulin, and daily injections of insulin are required to sustain life. Without proper daily management, medical emergencies can arise.
  • Type 2 diabetes is far more common than type 1 and makes up 90% or more of all cases of diabetes. It usually occurs in adulthood. Here, the pancreas does not make enough insulin to keep blood glucose levels normal, often because the body does not respond well to the insulin. Many people with type 2 diabetes do not know they have it, although it is a serious condition. Type 2 diabetes is becoming more common due to the growing number of older Americans, increasing obesity, and failure to exercise.
  • Gestational diabetes is high blood glucose that develops at any time during pregnancy in a person who does not have diabetes.

Diabetes affects about 18 million Americans. There are many risk factors for diabetes, including:

  • A parent, brother, or sister with diabetes
  • Obesity
  • Age greater than 45 years
  • Some ethnic groups (particularly African-Americans and Hispanic Americans)
  • Gestational diabetes or delivering a baby weighing more than 9 pounds
  • High blood pressure
  • High blood levels of triglycerides (a type of fat molecule)
  • High blood cholesterol level

The American Diabetes Association recommends that all adults be screened for diabetes at least every three years. A person at high risk should be screened more often.

Symptoms

High blood levels of glucose can cause several problems, including frequent urination, excessive thirst, hunger, fatigue, weight loss, and blurry vision. However, because type 2 diabetes develops slowly, some people with high blood sugar experience no symptoms at all.

Symptoms of type 1 diabetes:

Symptoms of type 2 diabetes:

  • Increased thirst
  • Increased urination
  • Increased appetite
  • Fatigue
  • Blurred vision
  • Slow-healing infections
  • Impotence in men

Signs and tests

A urine analysis may be used to look for glucose and ketones from the breakdown of fat. However, a urine test alone does not diagnose diabetes. The following blood glucose tests are used to diagnose diabetes:

  • Fasting blood glucose level -- diabetes is diagnosed if higher than 126 mg/dL on two occasions. Levels between 100 and 126 mg/dl are referred to as impaired fasting glucose or pre-diabetes. These levels are considered to be risk factors for type 2 diabetes and its complications.
  • Random (non-fasting) blood glucose level -- diabetes is suspected if higher than 200 mg/dL and accompanied by the classic symptoms of increased thirst, urination, and fatigue. (This test must be confirmed with a fasting blood glucose test.)
  • Oral glucose tolerance test -- diabetes is diagnosed if glucose level is higher than 200 mg/dL after 2 hours (This test is used more for type 2 diabetes.)

Patients with type 1 diabetes usually develop symptoms over a short period of time, and the condition is often diagnosed in an emergency setting. In addition to having high glucose levels, acutely ill type 1 diabetics have high levels of ketones.

Ketones are produced by the breakdown of fat and muscle, and they are toxic at high levels. Ketones in the blood cause a condition called "acidosis" (low blood pH). Urine testing detects both glucose and ketones in the urine. Blood glucose levels are also high.


Treatment

There is no cure for diabetes. The immediate goals are to stabilize your blood sugar and eliminate the symptoms of high blood sugar. The long-term goals of treatment are to prolong life, relieve symptoms, and prevent long-term complications such as heart disease and kidney failure.

LEARN THESE SKILLS

Basic diabetes management skills will help prevent the need for emergency care. These skills include:

  • How to recognize and treat low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) and high blood sugar (hyperglycemia)
  • What to eat and when
  • How to take insulin or oral medication
  • How to test and record blood glucose
  • How to test urine for ketones (type 1 diabetes only)
  • How to adjust insulin and/or food intake when changing exercise and eating habits
  • How to handle sick days
  • Where to buy diabetes supplies and how to store them

After you learn the basics of diabetes care, learn how the disease can cause long-term health problems and the best ways to prevent these problems. People with diabetes need to review and update their knowledge, because new research and improved ways to treat diabetes are constantly being developed.

WHAT TO EAT

You should work closely with your health care provider to learn how much fat, protein, and carbohydrates you need in your diet. Your specific meal plans need to be tailored to your food habits and preferences. People with type 1 diabetes should eat at about the same times each day and try to be consistent with the types of food they choose. This helps to prevent blood sugars from becoming extremely high or low. Type 2 diabetics should follow a well-balanced and low-fat diet.

A registered dietician can be very helpful in planning dietary needs.

Weight management is important to achieving control of diabetes. Some people with type 2 diabetes can stop medications after losing excess weight, although the diabetes is still present.

HOW TO TAKE INSULIN OR ORAL MEDICATION

Medications to treat diabetes include insulin and glucose-lowering pills, called oral hypoglycemic agents. The bodies of people with type 1 diabetes cannot make their own insulin, so daily insulin injections are required. The bodies of people with type 2 diabetes make insulin but cannot use it effectively.

Insulin is not available in oral form. It is delivered by injections that are generally required one to four times per day. Some people use an insulin pump, which is worn at all times and delivers a steady flow of insulin throughout the day.

Insulin preparations differ in how quickly they start to work and how long they remain active. Sometimes different types of insulin are mixed together in a single injection. The types of insulin to use, the doses required, and the number of daily injections are chosen by a health care professional trained to provide diabetes care.

People who need insulin are taught to give themselves injections by their health care providers or diabetes educators.

Unlike type 1 diabetes, type 2 diabetes may respond to treatment with exercise, diet, and/or oral medications. There are several oral hypoglycemic agents that lower blood glucose in type 2 diabetes. They fall into one of three groups:

Most type 2 diabetics will require more than one medication for good blood sugar control within three years of starting their first medication. Different groups of oral medications may be combined, or insulin and oral medications may be used together.

Some people with type 2 diabetes find they no longer need medication if they lose weight and increase activity, because when their ideal weight is reached, their own insulin and a careful diet can control their blood glucose levels.

Oral hypoglycemic agents are not known to be safe for use in pregnancy; women who have type 2 diabetes and take these medications may be switched to insulin during pregnancy and while breast-feeding.

Gestational diabetes is treated with diet and insulin.

SELF-TESTING

Self-monitoring of blood glucose is done by checking the glucose content of a drop of blood. Regular testing tells you how well diet, medication, and exercise are working together to control your diabetes.

The results of the test can be used to adjust meals, activity, or medications to keep blood sugar levels in an appropriate range. Testing provides valuable information for the health care provider and identifies high and low blood sugar levels before serious problems develop.

The American Diabetes Association recommends that premeal blood sugar levels fall in the range of 80 to 120 mg/dL and bedtime blood levels fall in the range of 100 to 140 mg/dL. Your doctor may adjust this depending on your circumstances.

You should also ask your doctor how often to check your hemoglobin A1c (HbA1c) level. The HbA1c is a measure of average blood glucose during the previous two to three months. It is a very helpful way to monitor a patient's overall response to diabetes treatment over time. A person without diabetes has an HbA1c around 5%. People with diabetes should try to keep it below 7%.

Ketone testing is another test that is used in type 1 diabetes. Ketones build up in the blood when there is not enough insulin in people with type 1 diabetes, eventually "spilling over" into the urine. The ketone test is done on a urine sample. High levels of blood ketones may result in a serious condition called ketoacidosis. Ketone testing is usually done at the following times:

  • When the blood sugar is higher than 240 mg/dL
  • During acute illness (for example, pneumonia, heart attack, or stroke)
  • When nausea or vomiting occur
  • During pregnancy

EXERCISE

Regular exercise is especially important for people with diabetes. It helps with blood sugar control, weight loss, and high blood pressure. People with diabetes who exercise are less likely to experience a heart attack or stroke than diabetics who do not exercise regularly. You should be evaluated by your physician before starting an exercise program.

Here are some exercise considerations:

  • Choose an enjoyable physical activity that is appropriate for your current fitness level.
  • Exercise every day, and at the same time of day, if possible.
  • Monitor blood glucose levels before and after exercise.
  • Carry food that contains a fast-acting carbohydrate in case you become hypoglycemic during or after exercise.
  • Carry a diabetes identification card and a mobile phone or change for a payphone in case of emergency.
  • Drink extra fluids that do not contain sugar before, during, and after exercise.

Changes in exercise intensity or duration may require changes in diet or medication dose to keep blood sugar levels from going too high or low.

FOOT CARE

People with diabetes are prone to foot problems because of the likelihood of damage to blood vessels and nerves and a decreased ability to fight infection. Problems with blood flow and damage to nerves may cause an injury to the foot to go unnoticed until infection develops. Death of skin and other tissue can occur.

If left untreated, the affected foot may need to be amputated. Diabetes is the most common condition leading to amputations.

To prevent injury to the feet, people with diabetes should adopt a daily routine of checking and caring for the feet as follows:

  • Check your feet every day, and report sores or changes and signs of infection.
  • Wash your feet every day with lukewarm water and mild soap, and dry them thoroughly.
  • Soften dry skin with lotion or petroleum jelly.
  • Protect feet with comfortable, well-fitting shoes.
  • Exercise daily to promote good circulation.
  • See a podiatrist for foot problems or to have corns or calluses removed.
  • Remove shoes and socks during a visit to your health care provider and remind him or her to examine your feet.
  • Stop smoking, which hinders blood flow to the feet.

Expectations (prognosis)

The risks of long-term complications from diabetes can be reduced.

The Diabetes Control and Complications Trial (DCCT) studied the effects of tight blood sugar control on complications in type 1 diabetes. Patients treated for tight blood glucose control had an average HbA1c of approximately 7%, while patients treated less aggressively had an average HbA1c of about 9%. At the end of the study, the tight blood glucose group had dramatically fewer cases of kidney disease, eye disease, and nervous system disease than the less-aggressively treated patients.

In the United Kingdom Prospective Diabetes Study (UKPDS), researchers followed nearly 4,000 people with type 2 diabetes for 10 years. The study monitored how tight control of blood glucose (HbA1c of 7% or less) and blood pressure (less than 144 over less than 82) could protect a person from the long-term complications of diabetes.

This study found dramatically lower rates of kidney, eye, and nervous system complications in patients with tight control of blood glucose. In addition, there was a significant drop in all diabetes-related deaths, including lower risks of heart attack and stroke. Tight control of blood pressure was also found to lower the risks of heart disease and stroke.

The results of the DCCT and the UKPDS dramatically demonstrate that good blood glucose and blood pressure control, many of the complications of diabetes can be prevented.

Complications

Emergency complications include diabetic hyperglycemic hyperosmolar coma.

Long-term complications include:

Calling your health care provider

Go to the emergency room or call the local emergency number (such as 911) if symptoms of ketoacidosis occur:

Go to the emergency room or call the local emergency number if symptoms of extremely low blood sugar (hypoglycemic coma or severe insulin reaction) occur:

Prevention

Maintaining an ideal body weight and an active lifestyle may prevent the onset of type 2 diabetes. Currently there is no way to prevent type 1 diabetes.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

WHERE'S MY STUFF?

I find myself again pounding the keyboard after another night of sleeplessness, a night which found me sitting in front of this evil box which usurps much of my time and energy while providing me with an endless source of frustration, and allowing me the opportunity to expand my knowledge and control of a language which when I was young would have been rewarded with a mouthful of soap.

The problem I am facing right now with this box is related to my inherent inability to put my stuff away properly when I am done with it. I am known far and wide as "Mr. I can't find my Fucking Keys", and "Mr. Who's Seen My Wallet?" During my twelve year marriage, my poor wife spent countless hours looking for stuff I had misplaced (generally right in plain sight) after I insisted she must have moved whatever it was just to torment me.

But this problem, while related to misplaced items (in this case, computer files) I cannot blame anyone but myself. Of course, I suppose I could blame it on Big Brother... oops My Bad! I meant to say Microsoft. Yeah... I know... a bit of a reach there.... like Bill Gates would have any interest in my class homework....

So once again I find myself having to dig through my hard drives. Sorting, documents, files, images, and programs. What a mess! Looks like I will be here awhile. (This pic is not of my office, I swear!)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

NO PARTICULAR PLACE TO GO

Sometimes it seems difficult for me to write, at least in the style which I know I am capable of. I know that somewhere within me is the spark that used to fuel the passion for writing I once enjoyed. Something happened, and the passion faded like an old photograph. I would give most anything to rekindle the spark, the passion I once knew. But in this moment, there just seems to be a void. A cold emptiness which I am not able to explain. I look inside for the words, and what used to be like a closet, where the words hung like garments, seems dark and empty now. Sometimes, when I try to open the door to my creativity, it seems like the darkness pulls me in, envelopes me, and I get stuck there in the empty space for awhile. Today, however, it seemed as though there was a new garment hanging in the closet, as it were. Just the one, and nothing else. I can see it, reach in and feel it, and am thrilled to find it there.

Lately, and for quite some time, things have not been right in my life. I am not really where I want to be. Physically, emotionally, financially, artistically, spiritually.... I would like to be somewhere else. I am tired of feeling drained all the time. Physically, my body is a wreck. I was in arrhythmia as little as an hour ago, and I am struggling and failing to keep my blood sugar in range. I have not been sleeping well for a number of weeks, and my sleep patterns are totally messed up. I know I am depressed, because I am in a space where I prefer darkness to the light. I used to be afraid of the dark to an extent when I was a kid, but now, darkness is sort of like an old friend. I can close the door to my office, and turn out the light, and just sit in my armchair. The darkness rushes in to cover me like a blanket, and I am able to relax. Something about it, I am not sure what, but I find it to be both warm and peaceful. In the darkness of my room, nothing reaches me, not even light. I feel safe, and secure in the darkness. I do not suffer from photophobia, not in the strictest sense, but on the whole, because of the annoying spots I see as a result of my glaucoma, I do prefer dimmer light much of the time, because in relative dimness, I do not see the spots which often resemble small black flying bugs to me. But also, because I am familiar with my surroundings, I am comfortable moving about in relative darkness. I do not have to see to know where things are. Once, out of morbid curiosity, I darkened my home completely, and lived in near complete darkness for about a week. I listened to music, bathed, prepared meals, and moved about my house in near complete darkness. With the exception of my computer, and the various indicator lights on electronics, the television (which I rarely watch) and candles, there was no light. What I found was that for a time, darkness can be quite peaceful. But at the same time, I believe we require light. Not lighting, but light. Daylight, specifically.

All life on the planet and everything in nature is dependent on the sun. Without the sun, there would be no life on the planet. All life is dependent on the sun. Plants convert the sunlight into energy, and all animals need plant life or other animals in order to live. All life in nature is dependent on the sun. We as humans are part of nature. We need sunlight just like everything else.

But I digress... I am getting off track. Basically, I just wanted to write today, and I have done that. I did not have any particular direction.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Expanding My Space
Current mood: hungry
Category: MySpace

Just letting you all know that I have been digging through my hard drives; I have found and uploaded a handful of pictures, and even a video I created last year as a Mothers Day gift for my wife. Of course, I have not seen her since, but technically she is still my wife. Either way, everyone thinks it is a great little video of our "children". Check it out.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

MY BIG BROTHER (GOD I MISS HIM!)



Some time back, before he passed away, my brother Joe was taking some college courses, and found that not only did he enjoy writing, but that he was actually good at it. No one was more surprised at this than Joe. He loved telling jokes, and spinning yarns, and was happiest when he could drag it out on an unsuspecting victim who listened intently for quite some time, only later to realize that Joe had been pulling their leg. But it seems that he found that in writing, he could paint a picture in words, and I believe that gave him much pleasure.

This story was found in an old folder where it was placed many years ago when Joe handed it to Donna to read while he was in the hospital. It brought tears to our eyes as we read it today, and I felt compelled to post it here today. (I am taking the liberty to add some pictures I found online to go with the story, but other than that, the story is unedited)






SOUTHERN TOWNS

Joe Fitch
1106 G St.

Washougal, WA. 98671


552 56 0359


(360) 835 5462


I love small southern towns. I spent a good part of my youth in them, and

even though I have since moved north to find work and raise my family in a large

city, I have never lost my fondness for the easier tempo of country living.

A few years ago, I took a vacation to visit my "Granny" down in Russellville, Kentucky.

She still keeps a small farm about eight miles outside of town and leases the fields to

a local man. He cares for the crops and the few head of dairy cows she has left from

the days when she and Grandpa did it all and raised seven kids. Grandpa is gone

now, and Granny is in her eighties, but the old farm still does well enough for her to

live independently. "

I still had two hours left to drive, so I pulled off the turnpike at Morgantown,

Kentucky to get some lunch and rest up from the eight hours I had been on the highway.

This part of western Kentucky is lush and rolling farmland, generously endowed

with hardwood forests, lakes, rivers, and ponds; much as I remembered from my

boyhood.

Driving into the main part of town, I was pleased to see what appeared to be a one

hundred-year-old red brick courthouse, a blocky, three story remnant of the post

Civil war "Reconstruction" era. The main floor was, reached by climbing twenty

stone steps from the ground level to the massive front doors. Directly above was a

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sign cut in native stone: Butler County Court 1870. Fresh white paint covered all

the woodwork near the main entrance, as well as the functioning storm shutters that

flanked every window that let into the main and upper levels. The well-clipped

lawns around the place were sprinkled generously with huge white oaks, hickories,

and beech trees, shading the ample rhododendrons and azaleas that lent their rich

colors to the scene. The lower floor was halfway belowground, and judging from

the white painted and closely spaced bars at every window, this was the county lockup.

The courthouse and surrounding lawns formed a square, around which all the

traffic flowed, and daily business went on around it in a relaxed fashion. There was

a war memorial of some sort next to the main steps, with its attendant World War I

howitzer and bronze plaque set into a large granite stone. A few people strolled

around the grounds, visiting, cutting through on errands, or maybe just loafing in

the late spring sunshine.

Directly across from the front of the courthouse was my destination.

"Leona's" was a smallish cafe in the 1940s style featuring a long counter

across the entire back wall of the room with stools covered in red plastic and

chrome. Six tables were scattered around the central area, spread with bright tablecloths. Eight booths crowded against the front windows, and I picked one to sit down. Each booth had its own juke box console, and as I looked over the selections, I noticed the sign near the coin slot: 10c per play, 3 plays for 25c. Now that brought back some

memories.

The waitress brought over a glass of ice water, and asked if I wanted some coffee, and gave me

the menu. I said "Yes" to the coffee, and she moved behind the counter. She was lovely; maybe three years out of high school, tall and slender, her long brown hair tied back in a ponytail. She wore a bright yellow print dress, a white

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starched apron, and low white athletic shoes. She moved with an economy of motion

that was meant, I'm sure, to conserve energy over a long day spent on her feet.

When she brought my coffee over, I asked her name. "Willy Givens" she said, and

smiled radiantly. "What's yours?" I told her, and remarked that I liked her town.

"Thanks," she said, then "Will you be staying in town for a while? We're having a

parade and fair later this week."

"No, I'm just here for a little while, and then driving on to Russellville to see

my family. I'll be passing back through on Saturday, though, on my way back

home."

"The fair starts Friday at noon. You should stop in and see some of it if you

can,"

she said.

"Thanks, Willy, I might just do that. I could use a little fun before I head

back to work for another year." She beamed that brilliant smile at me again, and I

ordered a hamburger to go along with my coffee. The sandwich was good, and I

took my time eating it, enjoying watching Willy as she moved among the other

customers, chatting with each as if he or she was the only one in the place.

I paid for my lunch, leaving what I hoped was a nice tip, and walked back

into the sunshine again. I felt good, so I walked about a bit peering into the stores as

I passed. There was a Western Auto store with some swell fishing rods in the

window, lawnmowers and wheelbarrows set out on the sidewalk. A movie house was

showing two western films that I had already seen. The drug store had paperbacks

on a rack outside the store, and I looked at the selection, but couldn't find anything I

wanted to read. It suddenly dawned on me that it had been a long time since I had

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seen someone put his or her wares out on the sidewalk for anybody to sort through.

In a city, that's just asking to be ripped off by anyone who comes by.

Walking back to my car, I hoped that it would be a long time, if ever, before

these nice folks felt the need to change their ways.

Leaving Morgantown behind me, I drove the country roads toward

Russellville, enjoying the rolling backcountry views as they unfolded before me.

Fields of corn and tobacco blended with acres of grass hay, and patches of sweet gum

trees crowded close to the pavement as I drew closer to Granny's place. Ponds full

of catfish called to me from the roadside, daring me to stop for awhile; to slow and

enjoy the clock-stopping pace that I missed while living in a large city. The last

hours of my drive here were nearly done, and as I pulled onto the sweetbrier

bordered lane that led to the old farm, the last of the city-born tensions slipped off

my shoulders.

I was home.


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