PREVIOUSLY UNPUBLISHED

Dismally disappointed in myself, I find myself in a somewhat pensive mood this evening, and I want to write. I do not even really care what I write about, just so long as I write. Some of my best stuff comes when I sit down without a plan. I guess, if I do not have to be anywhere in particular, I am free to wander. Heck, some of the worlds greatest discoveries were made by accident. That is not to say that I am going to write about anything earth shattering here, but I am going to write, and haven't a clue where this mood is going to take me.

So... Lets start with the subject of honesty.

According to Wikipedia,

Honesty is the human quality of communicating and acting truthfully related to truth as a value. This includes listening, and any action in the human repertoire — as well as speaking.

Superficially, honesty means simply stating facts and views as best one truly believes them to be. It includes both honesty to others, and to oneself (see: self-deception) and about one's own motives and inner reality. Honesty, at times, has the ability to cause misfortune to the person who displays it. Honesty can also mean fairness, and truthfulness, and the avoidance of misleading people.

The Western Concept of Honesty

The concept of honesty applies to all behaviors. One cannot refuse to consider factual information, for example, and still claim that one's knowledge, belief, or position is an attempt to be truthful or is held in "good faith." Such willful blindness is clearly a product of one's desires and simply has nothing to do with the human ability to know. Basing one's positions on what one wants — rather than unbiased evidence gathering — is dishonest even when good intentions can be cited — after all even villains could cite good intentions and intended glory for a select group of people. Clearly then, an unbiased approach to the truth is a requirement of honesty.

Because intentions are closely related to fairness, and certainly affect the degree of honesty/dishonesty, there is a widespread confusion about honesty. There is also a general belief that one is necessarily aware that dishonest behavior is dishonest. But it's at the moment when one willfully disregards information in order to benefit (such as to justify their actions or beliefs) that one shows whether they are interested in the truth or whether they have a lack of respect for the truth, which is dishonesty, regardless of whether they mislabel it stubbornness or conviction. Socrates had much to say about truth, honesty and morality, and explained that if people really understood that their behavior was wrong — then they simply would not choose it. Furthermore, the more dishonest someone is, the less likely they are to understand honesty and to characterize their behavior as wrong. Unfortunately,the meaning of honesty has been marginalized to specific lists of behaviors that more often than not --change over time like fashion. The understanding that honesty requires an unbiased approach to the truth and to evidence gathering at all times (a timeless approach) collides with ideologies of all types. This would explain why honesty, although often discussed -- has failed to become a cultural norm. Ideologies and idealism inherently exaggerate and suppress evidence in order to support their perspectives. They essentially state that their way is the only right way to view the world. This erodes the practice and understanding of honesty and creates ongoing conflicts in all human relationships.

Okay, honestly, I just cut and pasted the previous. It was a lot easier that way, and it allows me to move on.
I have been struggling with honestly a lot lately. No so much that I am having a hard time telling the truth, to the contrary... I am having a difficult time keeping my big mouth shut. I gave up on lies several years back... as a result, I hurt other's feelings a lot. I always seem to say the wrong thing. I do not seem to possess as much tact as I perhaps should.

So, here I am, in a relationship, looking for work, and dealing with a whole lot of stuff I would rather not have to. OOps... That kinda came out wrong. I have a lot on my plate right now, a lot of stress. It is largely related to my lack of employment and my difficulty paying bills. I am looking for work, and that is stressful, and I am in a relationship. When I said there was a lot of stuff I did not want to deal with right now, I was referring to everything BUT my relationship with Corrie. That, while not perfect, is the one thing in my life that makes it worthwhile to get up in the morning. If it were not for her, I would be facing my problems alone, and to be honest, I would rather face them with her. She gives me a lot of strength and courage.

Anyway, Honesty. Honesty is one of the things about her that I admire so completely. She seems unable to lie. Her direct and forthright way of speaking her mind is totally refreshing. No bullshit, no guessing, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I would tend to say that in her I have found a woman who has no malice in her heart (unless you are a clown... she hates those). I don't blame her. Which reminds me... did you hear about the cannibals? They will not eat clowns because they smell funny.