Portable Blog

I was wakened at 1:30am to the shrill chirping of my phone, and while I am okay with my ex calling, I had just gotten down to the serious business of sawing logs. So I was a little foggy at first.

But I am getting a lot less irritable these days. Not that it will make any difference, but at least I notice that I have been changing in subtle ways; The least of which is a more gracious and flexible nature.

I am not real clear on every aspect of my transformation these past few months, but I seem to be a lot less tense than I was before.

My ex would attribute that to the whole separation thing, but it is more than that. I have consciously decided to do things differently, not because I would hope she would reconsider the relationship with me, though that is something I would like to see, but because in any relationship I will ever have in the future hinges on me treating people better than I have in the past. I need to change for me, not for anyone else, because my life as it was is no longer acceptable. I can no longer afford the stress and the anger in my life. My heart can no longer take it. So,for every one involved, but especially for me and my health, I have to learn new, and more appropriate ways of handling and responding to stress. Simple as that.

Today is Saturday, and with nothing on the calender, I am taking it easy, just kicking back on my bed, typing this on my PDA. My first blog entry written on it. Maybe, I may even take a nap. Naps are always a good thing. LOL

A pain to endure

A toothache is a most miserable lind of pain, perhaps second only to earaches, and open heart surgery. I am not alone in my absolute hatred of toothaches. Since becoming a diabetic, I have had an average of one a year, and it is getting really old, really quickly. I am alomost to the point of looking forward to having all the teeth removed, and go to dentures. That has never been my first choice, but it is beginning to have a certain appeal if it means no more pain

In the meantime, I think I may take out some stock in Del Pharmaceuticals, the manufacturers of OraJel, since I may have some return on all the money I will be spending to keep the pain to a minimum. But, on the positive side, I have an appointment with the doctor on Monday, and will be parking my butt at the dental office in the hopes that there is a cancellation and I can be slipped in for a referral.

That's the drawback of having the health problems I do. Nothing is as simple as it should be. With the heart condition and the apnea, in order to get dental work, I have to be put under now, which while preferable as far as I am concerned, raises the bar so to speak. It becomes more involved, and more expensive. But, better safe than sorry.

Fortune or Fate

I just love this picture! I can't help it. I think it is funny. Of course, my humor has been twisted over the years and not everyone finds the same things amusing. Be that as it may, I still like the picture, and it appropriately illustrates what I want to write about today.

I used to quip that if it were not for bad luck, I would have no luck at all, but in truth, I have hade plenty of good luck over the years too. The problem is that because I am "the glass is half empty" person, I do not always see the good until much later. People used to tell me that I needed to be more positive, and I would generally reply (because I am a bit twisted, and a smartass at times... okay, frequently..... most of the time I guess) that I am positive something would go wrong. You know the story....

An optimist and a pessimist were walking down the street and the pessimist complains, "Things just can't get any worse than this!" The optimist replies, "Oh yes they can!"

By that definition I am an optimist. LOL That is my story, and I am sticking to it!

Things have a tendency to not always go as we expect. That is life. Always changing, always moving, and virtually impossible to prepare for every contingency. There are always twists and turns along the road of life which I think is why they say life is not a destination, it is a journey. Reading over what little I have written so far, it sounds a little cliche, much of it. Oh well. It is early in the morning, and again I was woken by the phone in the middle of the night. I do not write my best under these conditions. LOL

Too, having just checked my blood sugar, I see I am paying the consequences for forgetting to take my meds yesterday. 452 is exceptionally high, so I just dumped 60 units Humulog (insulin) into my system, and expect my numbers to start dropping quickly. Along with my oral meds, and the 35 units lantus, I should be in better shape before sunrise. I know, that sounds like a lot of insulin. It is, but not that much over what I normally take.

Hope Floats

Perhaps this week more than others, following the horrific events following Hurricane Katrina, and the mayhem in the Crescent City, this blog title seems appropriate. It took me awhile to find an image of anything that both floats and represents hope, but a floating chapel? It seemd apt.

I am thinking not necessarily about what is going on in New Orleans so much as what is going on in my own life, but perhaps some comparisons could be drawn that might relate the two. One might say that into every life a little rain must fall. Of course, to say that now in the soggy city of New Orleans might result in what is commonly known in the south as a whuppin. I don't want or need that, so I guess I will avoid saying that particular phrase. But it is true.

Figuratively speaking, rain comes to each of us many times throughout our lives, and perhaps as is the case in N'Awlins, the levees we build to protect us from the flood waters are inadequate, in poor repair, or otherwise to weak to hold the waters back, and leaves us vunerable to the destructive forces of nature. Perhaps it is something simple, perhaps a financial hardship, or an emotional hardship, and being unprepared, we are overcome, and left to tread water as it were.

Perhaps it is something more devastating, like the real flood there in New Orleans, in which many people lost family members, and everything they owned.