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I have no excuses. I just have not been writing in this blog. Shit happens, I guess. I lost my ISP for a little while, and to their credit, the rep I spoke to fixed it for me. I was about to find another provider. Gotta say the woman I spoke to was way cool, and truly helpful. Now if only I could find someone as cool at my cell phone provider. Riiight... best of luck with that.

It is 2am, and I am cold and tired. I want to write, but I don't. So consider this a check in for now, and I will write something good later. I promise.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

Well, for starters, I know I must be boring, because no one seems to read this blog much anymore. Okay, that was just pathetic. Certainly I want people to read this, and I enjoy getting comments, because they more or less reassure me that I am not completely alone. Then again, the reason I write this is more for me than for anyone else, so who cares if no one reads it? Apparently, I do.

Anyway, aside from that little whine, I really do have something I want to write about this morning, and I just do not know where to begin. My mind and heart it seams are all twisted up. Love, it seems, has a way of knotting up your insides and making things less clear. I am not a foolish man. I do not believe I am foolish. But time and time again, when it comes to matters of the heart, I seem to do foolish things. I know several things about myself, and forgive me for brainstorming here, but this is one outlet I have. I could talk to the people who I know care about me, but that has caused problems in the past.

I do not like being alone.
I want to be loved.
I want someone to share my life with, the good, and the bad.
I have a lot of love to share.
Someone has to appreciate what I have to offer.
It should not have to be this hard.

So, in the past, when there were struggles I was facing, I talked to the people I trusted. But that served only to alienate me from the person I loved. It hurt her feelings, and caused her to not trust me. She claims I stabbed her in the back not only by that, but also by writing about our relationship here in this blog. She claims that she has never talked to her friends and family about me.

The problem is, I am not a complete idiot. People being pretty much the same wherever you go, I know it is rare to find a person who never discusses any details with the people closest to them. For me, I talk to my sister and my ex wife. I trust them. I know they care about me, and sometimes I just need a sounding board as we all do to sort out my feelings. I believe everyone is much the same in that regard.

The object of my affection claims never to have shared personal details about us with her friends, but yesterday I learned that the secret of my minor foot fetish had gotten out somehow. Made me go hmm. I am not angry. But that does contradict what she has told me. If she shared that even by accident, how much else has she shared? The truth is, I do not care. I really have no secrets to speak of. I just struggle with the apparent inconsistency. Honesty and communication are extremely important to me. In a relationship, I expect honesty, respect, communication, and all the things that fall under these three things.

THE BANKERS PRAYER

I found this today. Made me go "Hmm."


The Lord is my Dollar; I shall always want.

It maketh me profit off the hard work of others:

The dollar leadeth me by the nose.

It restoreth my black little heart:

The Dollar leadeth me down the road to oblivion.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will always know evil: for thou art with me;

thy stocks and bonds they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me with the fruits of other's labor:

thou clothe my body with fine threads;

my bank account runneth over.

Surely prosperity and mercilessness shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in a seat of power forever.



Amen

LOVE IS...

Your heart beating like a drum in your throat during the first kiss.
Intoxicating, Invigorating, and frustrating..... all at the same time.
A hug when there are no words left to say.
Two hearts beating as one.
Being unable to sleep when she is not there.
...revitalizing!
Holding your tongue when you know the words will hurt.
Giving up the last cookie.
A bubble bath and a candle on occasion.
The spark between two souls.
Comfort in each others arms.
Never saying a word about morning breath.
Chicken soup on sick days.
Midnight runs for ice cream.
Forgiving even when you don't feel like it.
Never Ambivalent.
Always worth it.

Please comment. I need help on this one.

TEARS, AGAIN. LOSS AND COMPRIMISE

I do not really know what I want to say. I just know I need to vent. I am not even sure what I can say as the object of my affections sometimes reads this. My last entry is a sore spot, and I do not wish to hurt her anymore, no matter how much I am hurting right now. Misunderstandings of days gone by are misunderstandings of today. Why? Well, simply because the communication is not as good as it should be. I tell her that I love her, and she says I love you too. I tell her that I want to marry her, and she admits that she wanted to marry me once upon a time. Now, however, and several times in the past several months, she has told me in no uncertain terms that she cannot, that she will not ever marry me.

Yet I continue to love her. I know better, but something in my heart won't let me let go. I hang on for dear life, but why? The relationship is apparently dead. During the last eight months since she called it off, I have clung to hope, and we have been on again/off again. Sadly, always coming back to the off position. I hate that. I believe with all my heart that she loves me, and believe that there is a future for us, but that it will take work. On the one hand I want to hang on. I want to believe in her, I want to believe in the power of "us". On the other hand, she seems to keep pushing me away. I suspect at times I know the reasons why, but who am I to judge her motives?

Again tonight, I am awake into the wee hours of the morning because I am troubled. I try to sort out my feelings, and all I find are more tears. As if I have not already cried enough the last year. I feel the loss, and I try to make a deal. I ask if I do this, or I do that, if it would make a difference. The answer is no. She wants it to be over. She wants to get the relationship with God right, she wants to stand on her own two feet. That is admirable. I respect her for that. But in the end, even I do not know the right thing to do in every case. But I know I will follow my heart. I know I have to be true to my nature. I will love her anyway. I will cry some more tears, and I will pray. God alone knows the outcome. My heart feels heavy and empty, like a piece of it is missing. She is, after all, My Peanut, and she means the world to me. At least you cannot die from a broken heart. It just feels like it.

CRYING A RIVER, BUILDING A BRIDGE, NOT WANTING TO CROSS IT YET

Yeah, well... I was kinda stuck for a title, so this will have to do for now. I am not having a good evening. I actually feel quite lost right now. This is normal. I always feel this way when my heart is broken. The truth is, I hate feeling like this, but I am a sensitive man. I am one of those weird guys who has gotten in touch with his feelings. I am not afraid to cry, but that is not to say that I enjoy crying. To the contrary, crying sucks. Yet sometimes it is the only way we have to release the painful emotions that come with a break up, or a death. Whatever the circumstance, there is a mourning period, and it is just something we must muddle through. It is seldom easy. If I had to describe my feelings at this moment, the best word I could come up with is "Lost". I feel lost. I feel alone, I feel afraid, and I feel like a part of my heart is missing. It feels like a part of me is gone. But all that aside, I am sure at least one person would blame the way I feel on gas or something like that. This most definitely is not gas, but as far as situations go, the situation stinks.

I am in love. I have been in love pretty much from the moment I met her in person. But I was afraid then too. I will never forget the nervousness as I beat feet down to the 7-Eleven where I was to meet her for the first time. I had seen pictures of her, and knew she was driving a purple car... actually, it was more burgundy. It was her idea to meet, and I could no longer validate putting it off. We had, after all, been chatting online for nearly 3 months. I was sooo nervous. I wanted to make a good impression. I put on a nice turtle neck, a pair of slacks, an overcoat, and a gentleman's hat, I looked pretty nice. I wanted to look nice for her. The first I saw of her was her smile. A beautiful infectious grin that only slightly masked the nervousness she was also feeling. That evening, we went down to the riverfront, between Beaches and McMennamin's, and walked along the boardwalk in the moonlight. It was a cool, but clear autumn evening. It was just over two years ago. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember being so nervous that when I accidentally touched her arm, I nearly had a coronary. I thought perhaps I had accidentally brushed her breast, and apologized profusely. She just laughed at me, and told me that I was so cute, and sweet to be concerned. "But was it really so awful to touch me?" she asked.

We walked and we talked for a couple hours actually, and I think I knew then that I wanted to see much more of her. I even tried to be on good behavior. I really tried in the next several weeks to be honorable, to be a Godly man, and acted appropriately around her. I did not touch her or hug her, or kiss her. We just talked. But she respected me for trying to put God first.

But a couple months pass, and she agrees to take me to Bellingham to take care of a matter of personal business. It was supposed to be a simple trip, and I even made arrangements to stay with a pastor friend of mine. Sadly, I think we both knew what was going to happen. I think we both wanted it. That night, we crossed a line we could not cross back over again. Regrets? one or two. It was awkward, clumsy. and it was not what God wanted for us. But, we prayed about it together the next day, and we really did enjoy the rest of our trip. But that night, I hurt her feelings. My mouth.. my inability to keep my thoughts to myself. She ended up in tears, and I felt awful.

Still, upon returning home she had a new apartment, and as the weeks progressed, I was spending more and more time with her. She thought if I simply stayed, it would be a good thing. Her son likes me, she and I were getting along great, and for the next several months, I honestly believe they were the happiest months of my life. There were problems. But I felt like I belonged with her. Still some people frowned on us being together, and it made things difficult.

Things happened as things often do. Mistakes were made on both sides, and each of us walked away with new scars on top of our old ones. Even in he bad moments though, I could not keep from loving her even more. I bought her a promise ring which she says is one of her most treasured possessions. She claims to love me. But in all honesty, each of us is afraid of being hurt. We really are on the same page, but cannot seem to communicate.

I love her. She means the world to me. I want to do anything I can to help her, to be there for her. And without her, I feel completely empty and alone. I am reminded of a song that God gave me many years ago. I knew when I heard it for the very first time that it was important. Today, even though it is a different person I am in love with, the words hold just as deep a meaning to me now as they did all those years ago. I hope she understands that the tears I cry when I hear this song now, these tears are for her.

For her.... Mark Knopfler's "I'm the Fool"
( be sure to play the song itself in the window to the right)
I never thought I'd be the one
To be the raging bull
There'd always be a smoking gun
Who'd up and lose his cool
I never thought I'd have to say
I'm sorry, my love, because
I'm the fool I never
Fool I never thought I was

I left my dreams with broken strings
It's time I learnt to talk
Stop falling over things
Teach myself to walk
I'm not a superman
Or Mr. wonderful, because
I'm the fool I never
Fool I never thought I was

I'm the know it all
Trying to mend his broken heart
But I don't know who to call
And I don't know where to start

Now if you should lose your faith in me
I don't know where I'd run
I hope you'll always let me be
Your only one
Am I your one true love
Or am I too late for your applause
I'm the fool I never
Fool I never thought I was
Darling, I'm the fool I never
Fool I never thought I was

ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN, BUT HURTING JUST THE SAME

For the past few days I have placed this blog in a state of suspended animation. It seems that my last entry was determined to be hurtful by someone mentioned in it. I read it several times over, and honestly, I cannot see how it is hurtful. Yet I apologized for it and the pain it allegedly caused. Today, following more pain of my own, I decided to be true to myself. That is what the last entry was about in the first place. I will not be silenced just because someone does not agree with what I think and feel. It really does not matter if I am wrong or not. I have a right to feel as I do, and to express myself. I will make subtle modifications throughout this blog to eliminate anything that may cause this person undue distress, but I will not do more than to eliminate any personal identifiable information. This may take me a little time to complete, but I will get it done in as timely a manner as possible. I wrote about taking the high road, about having some class and decorum in my last entry, but the entry upset someone I care very much for. They felt it to be a personal attack, and that is certainly not how the entry was intended. So... while I am not going to take it back, the damage is already done, I am going to try to prevent it from causing any more damage.

Meanwhile, my on again, off again relationship is back to the Off position. I wish I were able to repair the damage, but it occurs to me that the damage that exists may have been a pre-existing condition. I want to bare my heart and soul here, but feel limited in what I am able to say because they can read this, and have. It is not my intention to hurt anyone. I love the person I am referring to, and would do anything for them. Unfortunately for me, what this means at the moment, painful as it is, I have to back off, and leave them completely alone. I need to forget about the friendship, the romance, the love I feel for her and her son. I have to let go of the last two years, no matter how much it hurts me to do so. I have to give up on someone who means the world to me. Of course, I have been here several times in the last year, and the emotions I feel are at the very least perplexing. Like the picture says, The saddest thing in the world is loving someone who used to love you.

I cannot fix the problem, but I am beginning counseling within the week, and am optimistic that the counselor will be able to help me work through these myriad complex and confounding emotions. This blog will remain my catharsis. It will be my link to the outside and inside worlds.

There is no need to get hurt, or to allow myself to hurt others. Since last September, I have given every effort to try to save this relationship I was in, and I am coming to realize that one person cannot hold a friendship or relationship together, no matter how much they want it or how hard they try. I have not wanted to give up on the relationship even though I was told over and over again that it was over. Fair enough. I am still a friend, and will try always to be true to that nature in myself. Love hurts.... it really does hurt sometimes. But, I still cling to the belief that in the name of love, it is always worth it.

THE COURAGE TO GO ON

Aside from spending so much time in the hospital lately, I find myself in an emotional rut. I am depressed. I am not so much lonely as simply feeling alone. Sometimes at night, I lay awake wishing sleep would find me, but instead lie staring at the ceiling, alone with my thoughts, running at somewhat less than a million miles an hour. I start to fall asleep, and something happens. A door slams, downstairs, a phone rings, an instant message or email beeps in, or sometimes, nothing at all, and my eyes snap open. Then I, with nothing else to do, count my own heartbeats and wonder about my life.

It can be safely assumed that I am not happy. I am neither happy nor sad. I just am. I am depressed. I feel alone a lot. I fear death and contemplate my own mortality. I pray, and I worry. I am not where I thought I would be at this point in my life. I am not a failure, but I am not particularly successful. My dreams, most of them feel out of reach, unattainable. My family, by and large is scattered and broken. Months and years pass between contacts. Much the same can be said of my friends. I have a small handful of people I talk to regularly. All of them it seems have lives.

I want to discuss some things I have learned about relationships, and recently, the importance of the lesson I will write about today has been driven home with amazing clarity and precision. It pretty much validates to me that in premise, though certainly not worded very well, I am on the right track with my thinking.

I have been hurt in relationships through out my life, and I have hurt those I have been in relationships with. Being hurt is not a good enough reason to deliberately hurt someone you claim to love. I have learned that in relationships it is always best to keep your mouth shut, no matter what happens. If you want to save the relationship, then it is up to you to preserve it. If it fails, then you can explain the reasons if you want, but the nobler thing would be to simply let it go. Never bad mouth your partner, always be willing to accept full responsibility for the failure, even if you feel it was not your fault. Accountability, personal responsibility; let the petty differences go, let the more important issues go. Take the high road. Be discreet, be honorable, be tactful. There is no need to hurt the other person just because you are hurt. The only people that need be involved are the two people involved in the relationship. What happens in the relationship should stay in the relationship. Unless there is reason to discuss it with someone else, i.e., a counselor. If anything must be said, take the blame yourself, treat the other person with respect even if they betrayed you. Sort of following the simple acronym popular among Christians: "What Would Jesus Do? (WWJD) He was persecuted, beaten, lied about, tortured, and finally killed, yet He remained true to His nature. He forgave them all. He took it all upon Himself. I do not claim to be like Jesus, no sir, that is not my point. But I would do well to learn from His example and remain humble and meek. I have nothing to prove to anyone. No one that is, except to myself. Beyond that, I guess I simply wish I had the answers to the problems I am facing right now. I wish I could find the strength and courage to face them head on.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

This month has been mostly crappy. I have been in the hospital most of it. I guess I have made my medical spend down, and then some. First MRSA infection in my leg... okay.. I was wrong. Technically it was MSSA, the same bug, but not resistant to antibiotics. But who the hell has heard of MSSA? Why cant they just say staph? Oh well. Then comes a bout of pancreatitis, gastritis, and now it looks like the infection in my leg is coming back in spite of the antibiotics. For the past 10 days I have been unable to eat without pain, everything I eat and drink causes me pain. As a result I am afraid to eat. As a result of all the hospitalization and my fear of eating, I have lost 31 pounds. The loss of that much weight in 3 weeks time scares the shit out of me, but otherwise, I am pretty cool with it. I wanted to lose weight, just not this way. I was in the emergency room again last night over in Oregon at the Adventist Health Center. They were nice, but could not really help me. It was the pain that took me there. I am so sick of hurting all the time. I want to eat, I need to eat, but with it hurting, What the hell am I supposed to do? Sometimes I get so sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time that I feel like giving up on life altogether. Then as it happens every time, I get over it.
Ain't life a bitch?

Super Buggin' Out

Well, you may have noticed that my blogging has dropped off a bit lately, and with cause. Todays entry is more or less just an FYI post for those that read it.

For the past three weeks I have been enduring the painful advance of a growing infection in my leg. Forced to wait until now because of my issues with my insurance and whathaveyou. I told them when they garnished my pay what would happen, and I was not lying. When I ran out of meds, the infection grew. So... now, after suffering many sleepless nights, and days upon end laying in bed with my feet propped up, I now get to go to the hospital for more of the same.

I do not need a doctor to tell me what I have. I recognize the symptoms, and know conclusively that my cellulitus has developed into MRSA (METHYCILLIN-RESISTANT STAPHYLOCOCCUS AUREUS). With my health conditions, the danger of this so called new superbug (originally predicted in the 1950s) I am aware I have put myself and my room mate at grave risk. I have had MRSA before and nearly died. The risk is the same here. Untreated, it could kill me. I am very sick now, and have kept very close watch on my progression. I have barely enough energy to function most days and have lost 10 pounds in the last month. My weight rarely ever fluctuates more than a couple pounds.

Anyway, I do not know if I will have internet access, and I no longer have my cell phone, so my contact with the outside world may be limited for a couple weeks or more. I do not know what to expect. I just know I cannot come home while I am still sick and/or contagious. But, I have a book, and some drawing paper, and a notebook, and a cribbage board and playing cards. I should be able to stay busy.

When I return home, I will try to bring this up to date. Life does not seem to stand still even though I do. Regards to each of you. Thank you for reading this.

Maintenance

Yesterday was my birthday, and I celebrated by cursing my computer most of the day. Thoughts included throwing it out my second story window, and aiming for the dumpster, and or creative application of fireworks and chemical accellerant. As I type this, I am trying (mostly in vain) to transfer my OS to a different drive.... lost most everything.... oh well. Its the pictures lost that suck the most. I had a thought a bit ago... If I can, I am going to figure out how to rename my "Followers" to "Survivors".

I have some ideas for some major changes in my life, and thus, have several blog enries in half finished mode I will post later. Wish me luck on the transfer. If it works, next time I am online will be with a better running POS outdated computer. Can't afford a new one just yet. Next month promises to be very, very lean. $7 to live on before meds, food, transportation, and laundry costs. But, at least the bills get paid. I just can't buy groceries, or order heart meds or insulin from the pharmacy, or go to the landromat. Being so broke, if I need to go anywhere, it will be on foot. Damn. Time to locate a food bank within walking distance I guess. It sucks having to choose between a place to live and whether or not my needs are met. This month, apnea wins... can't live on the streets. Not a good short or long term solution. It is only 4 weeks after all.

Waste Not, Want Not; Another Project

I have been thinking about this for awhile, this silly little project, and today, with a minimal of swearing at myself, and at the tools, and especially at the adhesive I used, I completed it after several hours.

I had an old leather jacket which I replaced last December when the zipper pull broke. I figured it was going to cost more than the jacket was worth to put a 3rd zipper in it. But I could not bring myself to simply toss it into the dumpster. I had worn the thing daily for nearly 10 years. It was time to go.

So, with my handy box cutter, I carefully cut out the panels of leather that were worth saving. (Everything but the collar and sleeves and pocket areas) The weathered remains of the de-leathered jacket... (basically a collar, sleeves from the elbow down, waist band, and the insulation and lining) are now in the dumpster as there is nothing left of the jacket worth saving.






















I also had this old wooden box that I wanted to refinish even though I never have figured out what to put in it. I then proceeded to stretch, pull, cut and glue the leather to my stupid little box... which I forgot to take before pictures of.... suffice to say it used to be brown, and was scuffed, and had writing of some kind on the top. I believe it once contained a high quality microphone back in the 70's or 80's not sure when.

This is what I ended up with, a leather covered box, and still no idea what to do with it. Maybe I can roll up and store the remaining panels of leather that I also do not know what to do
with. Maybe one day, should my new jacket wear out, perhaps I have enough leather to replace the collar or pocket linings. Waste not, Want not. Another area where I fall victim to my own OCD.

BOOK AND RELEASE

Well, as much as I hated to do it, I did finally call the Portland Police, and the officer who responded at dispatch was very nice. He could not tell me much, but did tell me that the police had made contact with Alan on the 8th of July at a park in the Pearl District, apparently for being drunk in public. He was taken in, a mug shot was taken, his info updated, and then he was released. He was not actually booked. This puts him basically okay as of a week ago but it still does not answer why he has not returned home. The officer suggested that he may have opted to go into a program to sober up. Perhaps he was hanging out downtown for easier access to alcohol and/or drugs, or perhaps I might check the mission again.

I hate the fact that Alan has these problems, and worry that he may throw this opportunity away that he has been given. There are many people vested in keeping him off the streets, yet he continually gravitates toward that lifestyle. I wish he realized that his family does care for him, and all we all want to see is him to begin caring for himself. Maybe that is too much to hope for. Maybe he is a lost cause. But whichever the case may be, it looks like I am going to have to go hang out in the Pearl in the hopes that I may run into him. Poop. Portland is a big town. The odds of simply running into him are against me. Maybe he will surface soon, and go back home.
Damn him anyway. Oh well, at least he is alive... or was a week ago. I can only assume he still is.

SLACKING OFF

Wow. Like most people, my life gets a little confusing sometimes, and myriad small distractions take me away from the things I either want to be doing, or should be doing. At this moment, a guilty conscience is driving me to take the time to make an entry here as I just now realized I have a small following, and as such I need to make a more sincere effort to write here a little more often, but my goal will always be quality, not quantity, so perhaps my entries will be shorter, but I will at least endeavor to port a little more frequently when I can. In actuality, this blog is taking me away from something I need to be doing right now. I have an early morning appointment tomorrow, and need to get my stuff together for that appointment, and try to get at least some rest tonight.

But, I do have something on my mind which for the past week has been causing me concern. My nephew Alan, who was pictured at the blues festival last week, has turned up missing. I have been unable to reach him by phone since last Saturday evening. This is not unusual for Alan to disappear, but it concerns me because it was unexpected. We all had hoped that he had settled down. He has been stable at this location for about a year now, and for him, that is a record, having spent much of the past 20 years living on the streets. In the past we (the family) have all worried that no one would know to contact us if something were to happen to Alan, and we might never know . Turns out that very little has changed really.

Alan has problems. We all do. But Alan and his brother Michael may have more than their fair share. This comes as a result of addictive behaviors, poor decision making skills, anger, and perhaps even a modicum of fear. They are both angry men, for many reasons, but the bottom line is they still have not come to realize that the bad things that happen to them are a direct result of the choices they make, and the actions they do. It is no one's fault but their own, and as best any of us (the family again) can tell, they both are still blaming anyone and anything that they can for the problems that plague them. It seems to be common among people with these sort of problems, and as long as they do not hold themselves accountable for the choices they make, they will likely continue on this very self destructive path.

I have not seen Alan's younger brother Michael since 2006. Until 2007, I had not seen Alan since 2000. So you can see the pattern they share. Nevertheless, I am concerned that something bad may have befallen Alan. I know his propensity towards alcohol and drug abuse, but I also know he had little money. He was owed like $30 by someone he knew, and I worry that when he got the money, he did something very foolish. Whatever happened, he has not been home in a week. I cannot help but fear the worst. Now, that I am worried about him, and do not know why he would not return home, I realize that should he end up dead, I now have no idea how or where to reach Michael either. But they are family, and I do care about them. I just wish they would let the people who actually care about them be a part of their lives instead of shutting us out entirely.

I have called the apartment manager, who was no help at all, and I have called every hospital in the greater Portland area. I have also checked the jail rosters for Multnomah County, and so far, have found no information. I can either wait and hope, or, I can take a more proactive approach. I am planning on calling the Police on Monday, and seeing if I can make a missing person report. Just in case. I wish Alan realized how much we all care for him and worry ... how much we have worried for all these years, and how much time and expense I have put into locating him in years past.

For now, all I can do is pray... and say Damn! a lot.

WATERFRONT BLUES FESTIVAL

I went to the Waterfront Blues Festival this weekend over in Portland with my Sister and Nephew. For the most part it was not bad, in the sense that we got there okay, we got to see a few acts and had a picnic lunch, and eventually found seating in a shaded area where we could see both main stages. But there were several things that did not go according to plan, and the event was not as much fun as I had hoped it would be.

As we got ready to board the Max train
I saw this sign, which I found amusing.

No Bicycling, No Rollerblading, No Skateboarding, No Nothing.

Governor Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Main Entrance

I liked the patterns in these leaves.

My nephew Alan in what he called his "Thoughtful Pose".

Alan took this photo of me in front of Waterfront Park.
I think he did a great job! I really like this picture.

It was 96 degrees outside, so we took advantage
of this shade for out picnic lunch.

I wanted to get a photo of this Touch Juggler,
but missed my opportunity. This is a shot I found
online of him a couple years ago. He was a little more
silver this year. I would think that he would be hot
since he was wearing a jacket, and was painted silver.
I suppose that is why he chose to perform
under the bridge next to the portolets.

Multnomah County Sheriff's boat patrolling the Willamette River.


Wonder What this guy is smiling at?

Oh! Never Mind!

Some of the myriad boats anchored to enjoy the show.
I was trying to get a picture of the Jolly Roger

Alan and Donna. Donna appears to be telling the
people in front of us to sit down so we can see.

Alan and Donna again. Donna is obviously ready for the 4th of July.

To Err is Human; To Arrr is Pirate. Is it weird for my sister to borrow my earrings?

Not sure who this is.

BELOW: Brian Jack & The Zydeco Gamblers

Sonny Landreth

Sonny Landreth and his Band

Sonny Landreth

Karl Denson's Tiny Universe

Johnny Winter

Okay, just so you know, this is the best picture I got of Johnny Winter.
Try as I might, I could not get any closer to him or the stage.

So I went online to find these three images.

Fortunately Johhny generally dresses in black t-shirt and jeans,
and it looks like these pictures could have been taken at the
same as all the rest, but in actuality I believe these were taken in
Ontario a year ago. These were the kind of shots I had hoped to get.

I am a little stunned at how old Johnny is looking
these days, but I forget he is like 65 years old now.